I have sat with myself long enough to see that I also crave attention -- significance and validation. I have sat down with myself in silence, and my thoughts tend to show me that I want to be validated by my fellow human beings, and I ask myself, why? I ask myself, when I do a good deed for someone, is it so that I can be recognized? I ask myself, what actions have I done for me and what do I do for others. Is what I do for others ultimately done for myself?
And the answers appear from within in silence. When I do for others, I am doing for myself, because I and other are the same, there is no separation, only a reflection. Therefore, if I hurt someone for attention, I am truly hurting myself as well as that person, and if I help someone for attention, I am truly helping myself as well as that person. One may perceive that the action has a winner and a loser, but this is a false perception. When one hurts another for the benefit of oneself, there is no winner. Instant gratification and material gain will not hide the reality of the negative effects of the action, it will only mask it, until the guilt and the universal law takes its toll.
I have been told in the past that every action is selfish unless there is no ego involved, yet I find this to be untrue now. I used to believe this statement, until I came to a realization that there is no such thing as “no ego”. The ego will always exist; it is somewhat of a defense mechanism that is built into all human beings, in this world, it is needed. If this realization is truth, then this means that the actions are not selfish, because we are all interconnected, so no matter what you do for others, you do for yourself, and vice versa. This becomes very clear when you see the reality of interconnectedness and oneness…
If we continue to see ourselves as separate from each other, we will continue to believe in selfish and selfless acts, and we will continue to crave unhealthy attention through significance and validation. If we remove the false separation, selfish and selfless acts would simply not exist, every action done to others is an action done to you; whether it is negative or positive, the action is an echo, and the attention is focused inwards.
When one cuts down a rainforest, it’s not only the trees that are affected, but the earth that the tree is planted in is also affected, the animals that once lived in the rain forest are affected, the ozone layer is affected, the land is affected, the people who inhabit the lands are affected, and so on. This alone can show us that every living entity is connected one way or another. The butterfly effect only exists in a universe of interconnectedness
I am writing this for a reason, I write this to myself while at the same time I write this for everyone else. I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore you are. You are, therefore we are.
Some are in denial of the fact that they crave attention from others so that they can feel significant, so that their ego can be fed. As long as we deny this fact, we will never be able recognize when our ego is involved, and we will always need reassurance from others. As long as we ignore ourselves, we will never grow. Ultimate truth is found within yourself; the more you go in—the more truth comes out. We will slowly start to see our egos, we will start to observe our egos with our self, and once this is seen clearly, the balance will be attainable and the oneness will be irrefutable.
We need to look away from the outside, and focus on what is inside. We need to avoid judging others, for this is only a judgement of ourselves. We need to realize that when we point our fingers to others we are pointing at ourselves. We need to see that when we ask for attention from others, it is because we are not giving the necessary attention to ourselves. When we want to feel significant, it is because we falsely perceive ourselves as separate from the other…
There is a stunning significance in our unity, not in our separation…
With Love
i formulated the same quote, 'i think therefore i am; i am therefore you are' and typed it into google and it led me to this page. I liked how your positive perception in life inspired you to add, 'you are therefore we are', even though it should technically logical terms be, 'i think therefore i am; i am therefore you are; i am and you are, therefore we are.' I personally did not feel the need to add further than 'i am therefore you are' since i don't feel it either works pragmatically or when other more highly emotional factors get involved. For example, our connection as humans can feel insignificant in comparison to a major betrayal between two loyal friends and sometimes in these cases personal perspective may dictate the determination of priorities. In other words, sometimes we may prefer to avoid 'therefore we are', and replace it with for example 'i am, and you slept with my wife, therefore we are not'. To add 'we are' is a utopian ideal in itself, but just like all utopias, perfection always has a fatal flaw, therefore it does not and cannot exist.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment NJH. I understand what you are saying, but I would like to add something to your example.
ReplyDeleteThere are certain variables that must not be ignored. One very important variable is the source cause of the deception. Did my friend sleep with my wife to intentionally hurt me? Did my wife sleep with my friend to intentionally hurt me? The intention of the deceiver will trigger different emotions from the deceived. When one is emotionally intelligent, the outcome of the deception will be "controlled" and thought out before any action is taken. Second variable, when one deceives another, does that mean that you and the other are no longer interconnected? It only changes the dynamic of the relationship, ultimately, you and the other are still one. Cutting the person out of your life does not mean they no lonter exist. Thirdly, when one becomes less attached to earthly emotions, one can clearly see a deception as a blessing. Your friend is no longer considered to be trustworthy, on the other hand, this has also shown you that your wife should not be your wife. Without your friend who deceived your trust, your wife would still be your wife, and the deception may have been done with a perfect stranger, which could have gone easily unnoticed. Also, your friend should obviously not be your friend if he was willing and able to perform such a betrayal of your trust, therefore, your friend has much to learn about trust, honesty and loyalty. If one would not perform such a deception on another, then one would strive to surround oneself with like minded friends..Either way, betrayal will always exist in a world where attachments define us. This is why, I believe that attachments are unhealthy, and will surely bring pain if we cannot see past the attachment...as you mentioned, 'personal perception will dictate determination of priorities', one may be affected in a completely different way by this deception than another.
My vision of utopia is not perfection. It is rather an abundance of acceptance, gratitude, understanding, emotional, spiritual and intellectual intelligence, communication and no attachments. My vision of utopia requires a radical shift in mass consciousness, and I do believe, that this is possible...maybe not in our lifetime, but one can always dream.