I have sat with myself long enough to see that I also crave attention -- significance and validation. I have sat down with myself in silence, and my thoughts tend to show me that I want to be validated by my fellow human beings, and I ask myself, why? I ask myself, when I do a good deed for someone, is it so that I can be recognized? I ask myself, what actions have I done for me and what do I do for others. Is what I do for others ultimately done for myself?
And the answers appear from within in silence. When I do for others, I am doing for myself, because I and other are the same, there is no separation, only a reflection. Therefore, if I hurt someone for attention, I am truly hurting myself as well as that person, and if I help someone for attention, I am truly helping myself as well as that person. One may perceive that the action has a winner and a loser, but this is a false perception. When one hurts another for the benefit of oneself, there is no winner. Instant gratification and material gain will not hide the reality of the negative effects of the action, it will only mask it, until the guilt and the universal law takes its toll.
I have been told in the past that every action is selfish unless there is no ego involved, yet I find this to be untrue now. I used to believe this statement, until I came to a realization that there is no such thing as “no ego”. The ego will always exist; it is somewhat of a defense mechanism that is built into all human beings, in this world, it is needed. If this realization is truth, then this means that the actions are not selfish, because we are all interconnected, so no matter what you do for others, you do for yourself, and vice versa. This becomes very clear when you see the reality of interconnectedness and oneness…
If we continue to see ourselves as separate from each other, we will continue to believe in selfish and selfless acts, and we will continue to crave unhealthy attention through significance and validation. If we remove the false separation, selfish and selfless acts would simply not exist, every action done to others is an action done to you; whether it is negative or positive, the action is an echo, and the attention is focused inwards.
When one cuts down a rainforest, it’s not only the trees that are affected, but the earth that the tree is planted in is also affected, the animals that once lived in the rain forest are affected, the ozone layer is affected, the land is affected, the people who inhabit the lands are affected, and so on. This alone can show us that every living entity is connected one way or another. The butterfly effect only exists in a universe of interconnectedness
I am writing this for a reason, I write this to myself while at the same time I write this for everyone else. I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore you are. You are, therefore we are.
Some are in denial of the fact that they crave attention from others so that they can feel significant, so that their ego can be fed. As long as we deny this fact, we will never be able recognize when our ego is involved, and we will always need reassurance from others. As long as we ignore ourselves, we will never grow. Ultimate truth is found within yourself; the more you go in—the more truth comes out. We will slowly start to see our egos, we will start to observe our egos with our self, and once this is seen clearly, the balance will be attainable and the oneness will be irrefutable.
We need to look away from the outside, and focus on what is inside. We need to avoid judging others, for this is only a judgement of ourselves. We need to realize that when we point our fingers to others we are pointing at ourselves. We need to see that when we ask for attention from others, it is because we are not giving the necessary attention to ourselves. When we want to feel significant, it is because we falsely perceive ourselves as separate from the other…
There is a stunning significance in our unity, not in our separation…