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Thursday, 7 February 2013

Creating Repetitive Experiences, Until We Grow


I share my experiences with you because I feel like I need to release. I also share because I know that we are all connected, and I know that my experiences are felt by so many out there. I feel that the masculine is going through some MAJOR changes, and if I can help anyone get through this, this will make me very grateful. There is also value in all of our experiences; I encourage everyone to share as it may help someone get through a very rough point in this life.

I feel that people who want to grow will be automatically attracted to other people who are on a path of constant growth. I do not consider myself to be enlightened, and if I was, I don’t think I would even know it. This is not me preaching, nor am I trying to make anyone believe anything. I am simply sharing; please take it for what it is.

I feel that this law of attraction is especially strong when it comes to wanting to find your soul mate, your one true love, your twin flame. When one starts to feel that they are ready for that intensely special connection, all kinds of forces are thrown at them in order to force a growth. Just because one may feel ready, it does not mean that they are. Being ready is not a state of mind, its not a simple task either. Being ready means a complete shift in consciousness and a genuine understanding of what you will be committing to.

I have learned through my many experiences that every situation that we go through, every experience is specifically designed for us so that we can learn from the experience. It becomes extremely difficult for personal growth when we fail to see the lessons in all of our experiences. When we fail to see the lessons, the experiences and situations will constantly repeat, over and over again, until we finally realize what it is that we need to learn. This realization is not abstract at all, this realization can be put into simple and straightforward words, sentences...it is a tangible realization.

Many of my realizations have come directly from experiences that have repeated themselves to me over and over again. One major repetitive experience in my life was a failure at any serious long term romantic relationship. Something would always seem to go wrong, or the woman that I wanted would always seem to be unavailable. At first, I felt bad for myself; I thought “What is wrong with me? Why do these things keep happening to me? What am I doing wrong?” Then, I started to make excuses, excuses that made my ego feel more comfortable with the challenges that were arising for me constantly, I would say “This is happening because my family is cursed, I am just unlucky”, or I would say “This happens because I have not yet been challenged enough by a romantic partner”, the excuses were endless, and were veiling the real lesson that I needed to learn.

The thing is, I wanted to be ready, and I genuinely wanted to grow. Just because I was denying or making excuses, did not mean that I wasn't ready to learn, it only meant that I was acting with my ego rather than with my higher self. My ego was blocking the lessons and therefore, my higher self kept on creating these lessons, over and over again. I cannot tell you specifically when my ego was defeated and when I started to clearly see the lessons that I needed to learn in order to grow. What I can tell you is that the universe, the divine light, God, whatever you want to call it, sends you all kinds of guides/angels in all shapes and sizes in order to help you defeat your ego. These guides/angels challenge you in so many ways that it becomes almost impossible to miss the message. Your ego becomes so challenged that it finally gives in, and clarity is reached. This does not mean that I completely obliterated the ego; this simply means I am much more aware of when the ego starts to act up. It becomes much clearer when the ego is the one reacting and not the higher self. You start to notice subtle signs, such as a need to become involved in a situation, a need to be heard, a need to be reassured, a need to be noticed and validated. These subtle signs are noticed and you then have a choice, act with the ego, or shut it down, and finally be your higher self.

Once I finally was able to learn the lessons of my repetitive experiences, I opened up an entire realm of possibilities.  I realized that I did not love myself fully. I realized that I was always putting myself down, not consciously. I realized that I was seeing myself as unworthy.  I realized that I was looking for completeness through a romantic relationship, I was looking to be validated and looking for worth in another person, and because of my deep connection to the spiritual world, on the surface relationships would not suffice. I realized that the woman for me was out there, and that she would only appear once I was on a path of self love, and self discovery.

All kinds of potential partners started to come into my life, and I was no longer attracting women who were unavailable. It seemed that more and more potential partners were opening up to me. I dated here and there, started to get to know different people. But there was still a problem; I was not finding the partner that I could completely connect with, on a soulful level, on a spiritual level. I was not connecting as I felt I wanted to connect, and I knew at this point that it wasn't because I wasn't allowing myself. Another lesson needed to be learned, so I did what my higher self seemed to be asking me to do, I asked, with all my heart and soul, I asked out loud. I asked the sky, the stars, the moon, the sun, the galaxy, the universe as a whole. I went into a trance and because I started to feel both laughter and tears coming on, I felt that I had been heard. Tears slowly started to flow, yet at the same time, I could not stop giggling. Not only was I heard, I was also told to wait and to stop looking.


The moment was not very long after that “prayer”. The universe works in conjunction with all souls at once, nothing is left out, all is everything at once. The moment I went into that trance, my soul mate, my partner, my other half was asking for the same things in different ways.

We connected the very next night...this is not coincidence, this is divinity, this is what people call God...we have direct access to this higher power...but we cannot communicate in divinity if we communicate with our false centers, our egos...we cannot learn or grow if we are constantly ignoring the lessons and allowing our egos to experience everything forcefully over our higher self....the only way to communicate in divinity is through your real self, your higher self...the divine light, the God, the Goddess, the Great Spirit, it does not understand ego and it does not need to....

I write this for you, you know who you are, and I know who needs to read this. I know that my audience is diverse. I know some who read this will either completely disregard it as blabber, I know others will react with “I already know this stuff”, and some will say “wow, I needed to hear this”....all of these reactions are welcomed. My shared experience is not only to benefit anyone out there who may need to read this, but it also benefits me, because as Paulo Coelho says so beautifully “Words are tears that have been written down. Tears are words that need to be shed. Without them, joy loses all its brilliance and sadness has no end. Thank you, then, for your tears." And thank you, for allowing me to share my tears with you.

With love

SS

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